The Greatest City in the World?

One time, when we were preparing to land at Laguardia, the flight attendant gave us the usual landing instructions and then said the following: "If you're lucky enough to have a zip code here in New York City to call home, then welcome back. If not, we hope you enjoy your stay." I rolled my eyes at my husband who looked both amused and worried that I might leave my seat and clobber the flight attendant with her microphone.

Many Americans have hometown pride. My middle school friend Megan used to sign her letters: "Don't Mess with Texas." And when I was in college in Minnesota, many of my California-born classmates would wax rhapsodic about the-beauty-that-is-San-Francisco. But I have never met a more aggressive set of chauvinists than New Yorkers. In particular, they love to repeatedly remind you that "New York is the greatest city in the world."

Mind you, this is not an opinion. This is a FACT. Water=wet. Poop=smelly. New York=Greatest City in the World. Also, realize that New York (according to New Yorkers) is not only the greatest city in the United States. It is also the greatest city in the WORLD. Are you fond of Seattle? Chump. Adore Paris? Fool. Because New York is, duh, New York.

I think New Yorkers like to persistently tell you that New York is the greatest partly because they are insecure. If I constantly remind myself that I'm living in the greatest city in the world, I will feel better about spending $5000 a month on a dinky apartment that overlooks a con-ed power station and has a kitchen full of roaches.

The other thing that drives New Yorkers to indoctrinate you is provincialism. Many New Yorkers know astonishingly little about the rest of their own country. To wit, I was chatting with one of my residents on my internal medicine rotation who grew up in NYC and went to college and med school on the tiny island of Manhattan (and was now doing residency there) and he relayed this story to me:

So I'm walking down the street with my girlfriend last night and we walk by Bryant Park and they are showing a movie outside! And there are all these people there watching. And I thought: 'Oh man, only in New York.'

It was all I could do not to laugh openly. Apparently he had never been to Chicago, Washington, D.C. or L.A. Apparently, he had never seen Cinema Paradiso. And apparently he had never heard of that former bastion of rural American life: THE DRIVE IN.

Now before you decide to send me hate mail, let me remind you that I like New York. I just don't like to be told what my opinions should be. So New Yorkers, stop passing around the Kool Aid and realize that New York is the greatest city for YOU. The rest of the world can make up its own mind.